SEVEN CONSIDERATIONS IN CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP
The subject of “Courtship” is causing a lot of stir among Christian singles today. I have decided to pen down this series to help clarify the confusion and misgivings around courtship, particularly by Christian singles.
1 Corinthians 14:40 “Let all things be done decently and in order” (KJV).
There is a decent way to go about courtship, Christian courtship for that matter. We are not lawless people. The difference between us and the unsaved is that we have a government over our lives. We are subject to spiritual authority and there is a kingdom government that regulates our activities and our emotions. We are not creatures of accident so we do not operate accidentally. Most divorcees today are victims of accidental marriages. If you do not want to add to the list of those already divorced, if you do not want to become a victim of accidental marriage, then make conscious efforts to plan for your marriage beginning from now, whether you are already in a relationship or not. That is what this write up seeks to achieve.
Let me start by stating clearly that courtship begins only when a marital proposal has been made and accepted. Let us examine seven things that should characterize a Christian courtship.
Courtship is a period of grooming to taste by both parties.
Courtship ought to be a time for plenty observations. If you notice your partner is not doing well in terms of external packaging, this is the time to start doing something about it. Whatever people cannot change in courtship, they are likely never to change in marriage. Talk about it; do not get too carried away with emotions, deal with the main issues. Young lady, if there is a particular way you want to start dressing or appearing in marriage which your fiancé may not be aware of, discuss it with him. You must trash external packaging. If you do not like the way your fiancé is always appearing, if you feel the kind of clothes he wears are not of this generation, discuss it during courtship. Talk to him about it and if he wants to continue dressing like that in marriage, let him convince you because you need to be proud of your husband when you are walking on the road. It is not a time to be enduring things and hiding things.
Perhaps your man does not smell good, always carrying body odour around; courtship is the time to do something about it. You need to get married to a man you can be proud of, particularly if you are the type who uses good perfumes. On his birthday, buy him a deodorant and perfume as birthday gifts. He will start using them because he is still doing so much to impress you. Prior to that time he might have believed that only dead people use perfumes; but because it is coming from you and he is still trying his best to solidify and finalize the love he has for you, he will start using them.
Young man, if the lady you want to marry is always wearing big or oversize clothes, looking like somebody’s mother, you can do something about it in courtship. A brother who is looking very digital and well packaged should not marry a lady who is looking like his elder sister. So in courtship, you should start re-packaging her. That means your money has to work. Package her to taste, package her to fashion.
An advice to single ladies
Sister, you are likely to tarry long in the singleness market if you do not do something about your size and external appearance. Research has proven that men like to marry someone they can carry on their wedding day, and every lady is likely to increase in size after marriage so if you are looking very extra-large already as a single, do something about it. There are gyms and there are groups that go out for morning exercises, join them and see how you can do something about your size now. It is very important.
Also monitor the way your partner talks in the public. If you observe lack of courtesy in relating with people, particularly service providers, point it out and see how you could be of help. Some ladies chew gum annoyingly. If it pisses you, address it in courtship. Some persons have never used smart phones all their lives, either due to poverty or computer apathy. If you are a technology and social media freak getting married to such a person, courtship is a period that should afford you an opportunity to upgrade such a partner.